Somehow, during April (yeah, I know now is May), I received a new enlightenment (by accident by me) which I would like to share to whoever that's reading this. Here's my 'grandmother's story' again.
After doing much of reflection, and reflecting again, I feel that my life is driven by what I have been taught since I was a kid.
I remembered when my elders used to tell me...and how I responded...
"Say thank you to Aunty"..."Thank you, Aunty"
"What must you say to Bernard?"..."Sorry, Bernard"
"How are you today?"..."I am fine, thank you. How about you?"
Basically it is about etiquette and values. I think after more than a decade of silence, I tend to forget those simple lines which does not have so simple implications.
Hence, after reflecting...I came up with my set of values I now abide by...
Humbleness
Education
Appreciation
Respect
Taking Care
HumblenessEveryone of us has ego...and size does matter. Sometimes I see that my ego got the better of me. When that happens, all the other values in my list does not come into play. I've read a few self-improvement books and many mentioned about the need to be a good sincere listener - for being a good friend, a leader, a person.
I mean, after all, I am who I am today because of my
humble beginnings...we all do. "Humble" in this sense...I humbled myself unconsciously last time if I want to learn. Hence, if I were to be more humble, I will expand my learning scope...which leads me to...
EducationAlright, I won't want to sound like some teacher or what but this is my point of view.
I personally strongly believe in "life-long learning". Although I last time argued that unconciously I am learning already, I now improve on that argument point by learning conciously as well ie. seek learning points.
Actually, I am applying this more ot my NPCC side - I gew up in an environment of tradition, convention, stereotypical environment. However, I come to realise the beauty of humbleness which gets me to listen to others in the Corps and consequently, able to gather more ideas on how to make myself a better person holistically.
While some might be thinking by now that education is all about learning, I would like to state that teaching is just as important...and in NPCC context, it is about sharing.
To me, sharing is important. I mean, I learn a lot because of the kind souls who were willing to share with me their experiences (and I am not referring to only those who are the same age or older). This makes me less hesitant to share what I know. Last time I was so hesitant to share because I feel 'threatened' that they are going to be better than me...but I come to realise that that will give me the motivation to continue to improve to upgrade myself. Of course, this is in the NPCC context. So those in NPCC, share!
And to all those who have shared with me your learning points, thank you!
AppreciationMany might have have heard of "When you give, you must not expect anything in return".
But I think that many (including myself till I came to realise) have taken that phrase for granted. We use that phrase as an 'excuse' not to return the Giver his/her good deed as well.
Sometimes, it simply takes a
sincere "Thank You"...and better, the effort to return the good deed.
I personally feel that it is natural for us to be critical ie. we tend to look at people's mistakes than their deeds.
Let me use my experience so far in NPCC as an example. Like other organisations, we also have proposals and in this case, the ATC proposals. Many a times, at the first instance, we already criticise the planning without even acknolwedging the amount of effort, time and other sacrifices put into making the planning. How demoralising it will be especially if the Coordinator(s) have put in so much for it? Let's be more constructive in our feedback by giving suggestions and acknowledge the effort put in. After all, it doesn't take one person to make the camp a success...
I strongly feel the least I will do is to say "thank you".
RespectThis is quite a touchy subject for me. But in my interpretation of this word, I am referring to how I address people.
Many a times, I realise that people just message me (email, sms, etc) without even acknowledging my presence at all. Lolz!
What I mean is...there's no greeting at all - "Hi, John" , "Good morning, Sam" , "Greetings, Mel" or simply "Dave, bla bla bla".
In the case of SMS/email, how would I know that the sender is sending to the intended audience? What if the SMS/email is not meant for me?
I initially learnt of this value from my parents. They were very insistive about "addressing" the person first. Then I came to realise...isn't that what I've been doing in letter-writing in schools too? Why is there a need for
Salutation , Introduction, Content, Conclusion, Sign-off?
My guess is that it falls back on respect...and etiquette.
I vow to abide by the above-mentioned manner.
Taking CareLast but not least is Taking Care...actually I meant "Care" but just to make the abbreviation easier for me to recall...I extended it to "Taking Care".
Care applies to all...care for family, care for friends, care for people, care for animals, care for environment, care for my uniform, etc.
Sometimes when I am feeling really down, I really wish for someone to just pop up on my MSN and sincerely ask how am I doing.
I really would like to commend one person for his strong calue of genuine care - CI Zhiyan of GMSS. Many a times, he has pleasantly srpised me by asking if I was doing okay, and gave me strong words of encouragement. Thanks, Zhiyan for being such a caring friend.
However, there's quite a thin line between Care and Curious/K-po. Just a note to myself - if the person is not willing to open up and share, then I've done my part...maybe I'm not the suitable one for the person to talk to. I must respect his/her privacy and decision.
While care may sound mushy, I feel that I can tell myself and be true to myself that everytime I show care...whether it is genuine, trying to be intimate, k-po, or anything else.
But nevertheless, to care for each other (especially in a Team), I personally try to practice by because if I care, I think all of the above-mentioned values will kick in nicely.
CONCLUSIONAnd that's the end of my grandmother's story...
"Values from the HEART"